Not a Prediction… A Recap From the Future

The 3^rd game between the Suns and Spurs in their 2007 playoff series happens about 2 hours from now. It is the first game since Amare Stoudemire called out the Spurs as a “bunch of dirty bitches”. What will happen tonight is inevitable. Stoudemire will make about 20 shots, kissing each one off the backboard. As we know from reading about Tim Duncan, this the coolest shot ever. Amare will follow each one by kissing somewhere on his arm- bicep, shoulder, finger, etc. The San Antonio crowd will boo because they think this is “whining”.

The Spurs will manage to keep it close because Michael Finley goes off for a bunch of 3-pointers. This is OK as he is still somewhat cool for calling current teammate Bruce Bowen “a dirty piece of fuck” when he was still with the Mavericks. Of course, just as Nash nails a three-pointer to tie the game late, Bowen will undercut him and break his ankle. As Bowen is thrown out, the crowd will boo because they think this is “just good defense”.

Eventually, the Suns will win on another backboard shot by Stoudemire at the end of overtime – a dunk! No one has ever seen or even envisioned what a dunk off the backboard looks like and it just shows what an unselfish player Amare is. Most players would have saved the first new dunk invented in 25 years for the All-Star dunk contest.

Nash comes back to play the next 2 games on a broken ankle averaging 50-20-10 (points – assists – blocks) and sending the Spurs home. Also, the NBA governing board of directors strips Dirk Nowitzki of his MVP trophy on the basis of “retardedness” and gives it to little Steve Nash and on the basis of “awesomeness.”

A Tom Chambers Documentary?!

From a piece by David Sirota at Common Dreams...

Bill Moyers' PBS special last night on the media's complicity in
pushing America to war was so powerfully upsetting that I am forced to
resort to using mid-1990s NBA metaphors to describe it, if only
because describing it without a metaphoric buffer is just too
depressing. This production was the documentary equivalent of Tom
Chambers famously jumping over a screaming Mark Jackson and hammering
down one of the greatest, most in-your-face slam dunks in history. To
call the media's complicity in the Iraq War a conspiracy is an insult
to conspiracies, because it wasn't hidden - as Moyers shows, it was
all out there for everyone to see. The problem was, Beltway reporters
didn't want to see it. As New York Times White House correspondent
Elisabeth Bumiller famously admitted, in the lead up to war most
self-respecting Washington journalists who wanted to stay on the White
House Christmas card list refused to ask tough questions because "no
one wanted to get into an argument with the president."

Read the rest here...